"Vwat are you doing der?"... I got hit by a car...
Wednesday, 15 August 2007 14:25

So, I Super Dave Osbourned it today.

If you've been reading my notes: http://blog.myspace.com/rodeoannouncer... you'll have read about my rodeo adventures, cooking experiences, and now....the I got hit by a car story.

They say you should get your eyes checked every year. I call BS on that, especially when it's the optricians who recommend it. Oh yeah... I'm a conspiracist... like dentists tell you to brush 3 times a day... I think Toothpaste causes cavities... of course they want you to get those... but I digress...


I go in for my eye exam, 4 years since my last one. My perscription has moved up just a lil' bit, but, it's good to get new lenses with the current needs of my lookers, so, I upgraded. My lenses were scratched baaaaaad anyway. So, they dilated my eyes. They warn you not to drive for 3 hours. Once again, I call BS on that, because I have a slogan..."I'm Joe %$'n Scully, mo fo!"

I purchase my lenses... and of course, have to wait an hour, and I go shopping. I'm a little freaked because I can't read my Blackberry clearly. I go shopping for my sis' bday present. The item selected from her list is NOT AT THE MALL, however, I find out that there's a nearby store that has it.

So what does the Dilated Dummy do? Prepares to drive.

Well, apparently, the pupils are sensitive to light (hence the Blackberry problems... it has a bitchin' bright screen)...

I stroll out of the mall...through the side exit by Mall Administration... open the door, it's WAAAY Bright out... two steps across the sidewalk, across the street/parking lot... WHAM!

I walked into a moving taxi cab.

Yup. I didn't see it. I habitually glanced left and right, but, the sun was bright, and I guess I saw White, and that was alright...

luckily, I'm spry, and instead of Super Dave Osbourning it across the hood, I was able to do a lil' spin and stop myself with my hands.


Ol' Tajhinder Taxi-guy gets out, "Vwat are you doing der?"

and I said, "directing traffic, you didn't see me?"

It didn't hurt, but it scared the heck out of me.

Then, I proceeded to go to the truck and drive to the store... Nyce! I almost wrecked about 6 times across my 4 turns and 1/2 mile trip.

Into the store I ventured... wearing my huge-ass Sunglasses, as my eyes are burning... my pupils were dialated, and my eyes were WIDE OPEN from freaking out... and I couldn't see a thing...

But, Ray Charles was able to make his purchase and return to the mall without accident... ok, without more than one accident.

So, let me hop on a soap box... don't drive with Dialated Eyes. Don't Shop with Dialated Eyes. But if you do... wear a helmut!