Apparently...there's a Rodeo here? Maine Blog Continued
Thursday, Sep 27, 2007
So, the first event was an IBR Bull Riding, and I rocked it as hard as I could go...except I didn't know any of the contestants... like, maybe 1. They were all Brazillian... Renalto, Flavio, etc. and the clown pointed out to me after the 5th Spanish joke that they spoke Portugese, not Spanish... ooops, my bad, who knew???
In the am, I tried to get online on the wireless, and needed the code. I called the front desk, and she offered me a cod.
"Lady, it's a lil' early in the morning for Fish, don't 'ya think?"
"No, a cod. For the Internet"
I walked to the front, excited to see Bill Gate's Internet fish, and she handed me a Card. Who knew Card and Cod meant the same thing.
Maine'rs are pretty cool people, though.
I've been rollerblading all over the town we're holed up in. The first day I went 5k or 3 miles, the second I went 10k or 6 miles, and the third I went 6k or 3.4 miles... all with good times. Everyone says good monin', and I say good morning. I take Lucky the wonder dog, and I have to stop and describe her breeding, like I know what it is. She's been crossed with about 50 different breeds as I keep making it up. Our last adventure was following a monster rain fall, and the paths and roads were sliiiicccck! I kept sliding like I was on ice, yes, I looked like Bambi. I think Lucky was giggling a lil'.
The old addage, "most accidents happen closer to home" is so true. Crossing the highway back to the hotel we made it halfway across as a guy pulled out of a driveway and pinned it; I had to do a 180 stop and got my one blade stuck in a crack in the road for a millisecond... and just about went flying backwards into moving traffic. I almost either died or ended up in an US Hospital with no Insurance... either way, I guess Lucky was my Lucky amulet.
I've done a ton of Touristing things... I ate Lobster and drank Shipyard Pumpkin Head Ale. I don't know which tasted worse... but I finished the beer, and only had the claws of "Carl" the Lobster.
We went to a Ska Bar... the only jammin' joint on Monday night. It was so small that guys had to signal when they were going to "make a move" on the dance floor. This guy kept marching in circles, waved, then did a round house kick. Fun times... good night to wear the ol' cowboy hat out. We found a Karaoke bar after that and watched drunken Maine'rs sing Classic rock. Safer by a lil'.
We went to frame a sketch some crazy guy gave us during the show, but that was going to cost $400.00, so, we're stealing the frame from the room...
And we went looking for a Laundry mat at 2 am... got back at 4am... they're closed... that's after trying 16 in 5 different cities.
My roommate has fallen asleep with his laptop 3 of 4 nights...
Tonight it's Chicken Barbeque at the Rodeo, and out on the town. I THINK there's a rodeo sometime soon, but I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do at it. I can't remember if I'm the Bull Rider or the Bareback Rider... or the judge or something... I hope it doesn't cut into my rollerblading!
On the Road for 2 weeks... rodeo'n... partway through Blog
Monday, Sep 24, 2007
My old saying, "Every Day is an Adventure" did not really ring true as I embarked to go:
Ontario-PA Thurs
Rodeo Fri
PA-ME Saturday
Bull Riding Sunday
...rollerblading, lobster eating, train museum visiting, swimming, hair cut, oil change Mon-Thurs
Rodeo Friday
Rodeo Saturday...and ME-ON.
I arrived in Pennsylvania following the most unadventuresome trip. Night 1 I watched Ty Murray's Bull Riding Challenge, or Yellow Wranglers Don't Rock and drank Duty-Free Beer.
I got to the rodeo waaay too early the next day, set-up and walked the fair in Gratz, PA. It was massive, and took like 20 mins to walk. I rocked the show, and was stoked to go out on the town.
Unfortunately, the bull rider that was going out with us cancelled as he got chuffed bad, and another night of Duty Free Beer ensued.
Sunday morning, I walked the Selinsgrove Street Festival, and enjoyed my encounter with a gazillion blue hairs, and my clothes still have a tinge of Urine stench on them, I think.
Sunday afternoon, I zipped up and met bullfighter JM Smith, and we embarked to Maine.
PA-NJ-NY-CT-NH-MA-ME... translates into: toll, toll, toll...
so, to battle this phenomina, I paid in all Canadian quarters... enjoy that America! haha. I think I actually lost 1/1000th of a dollar as the Canadian Loony is higher than the American Buck right now.
Driving across, I just about wrecked when a guy failed to yeild, I had to brake hard, and clothes bag flew into computer, which flew into cup holder, which smashed. Luckily, they designed it to pop back together.
Bullfighter guy had to keep pulling over to wee...
We drove through a town in PA where their "Color Guard" was enacting a toll to go through town, in effort to raise funds and stop their inevitable doom... "Save Us!"... well, they were all pugly and massive... so, I don't think it was a financial problem they were encountering. However, it's a bit of a catch 22 - if they could Color Guard somewhere, they'd actually walk a bit... but, I digress.
As we pulled into Maine, I had to book a room for a week, but, buddy brought a dog. It took 16 hotels to find one that allowed pets for under $100. But it worked out.
So, once we checked in, we went out for din-dins, and beers.
Now, Cumberland/Yarmouth/Freeport, Maine are touristy towns. In fact, Freeport is a Boutique Town... you could walk into McDonald's in a suit and feel under dressed. At 11pm on a Saturday Night... NOTHING was open. We kept driving on. I had the window down, heard music, and screamed, "STOP!!". It was a bar and restaurant that was open... 25 mins North of the Hotel.
We parked, and began walking through the parking lot as a pair of guys get thrown out of the bar, and come walking towards us. The one guy puffed his chest out, started flexing, and started calling us on... we hadn't even set foot into the bar yet. Bullfighter guy is half my height, and it was prolly pretty comical to see us try to jump behind each other..."you go first," "no you," "no you!"
Fortunately, though the crazy dude passed us and began to circle back, he saw we weren't going to scrap. That would
have been great. "Hey, Rodeo Company, where's your announcer?" "oh, he got arrested and got deported..."
We walk into the place, and they don't serve food. They may during the day, but you're prolly going to get Crabs... not the kind out of the adjacent Ocean, either... It was a scaaaaary hard rock, drunken swing. We chugged 2 beers, and bailed.
Driving back towards the hotel, we stopped to ask where we could get food... "Portland is the only place"... great. 10 mins South of the Hotel.
Down we go to the Entertainment district and got pizza slices and sat in the Truck to Eat them.
Lucky, the bullfighter guy's dog, began showcasing her talent. She would be quiet in the back seat, if a person that looked suspicious in nature walked by, she would bark. She may be a lil' bit of a profiler, but, she is a dog. Then, if any smokin' girls walked by, she'd bark as well. This dog was bang on every time. I asked if I could take her home, but apparently, Lucky doesn't have a passport.
The highlight came when a girl came up to my Window and asked, "Hi, can I pee in the back of your truck?"... Bullfighter guy didn't like my answer, "Guy! the dog will eat her alive"... I explained that she could go in the box of the truck, but, the debate outlasted the girl's bladder... what ev's.
I rolled into the Sunday Show suuuuper early, and parked on the other side of the pen and strolled around to scope out speaker placement. I instantly got cornered by a PRCA Producer who wants me for all of next season. I was like,
"shouldn't you watch me do a perf yet?"... and he said, "no, I saw you at the IFR".
Going into the show, I was a little unfocused... thinking about the PRCA prospects, and said, "Cumberlain, Mainedub" twice... but then rocked out hard as it rolled on. I don't think anyone important caught the flub, as I had the hard rock cranked. They had people standing 8 deep around the bleachers... it was jaaaaammmed!
And that's the trip so far. Tomorrow I take Lucky Rollerblading. I just hope we don't pass any Hotties or People of Suspicious nature... I may tumble and get Crabs...
Lates!
My Birthday Weekend... the Birthday Blog
Monday, Sep 10, 2007
It was a definite unorthodox Birthday as I celebrated my 29th...
my Birthday was on the Friday, and I was travelling to the United States for a rodeo, so, I began celebrating with Friends and Family Thursday.
Got a lil' boozy... Coors Light in the Ropin' pen KICKS! haha.
For my Birthday, I gave myself a gift... the gift of sleeping in. I slept until 10, and then watched 3 episodes of Season 3 of the Office (bday gift), then packed, prepped and left for the Rodeo Weekend... 3 hours behind schedule, but what ev's.
My biggest worry was that I was going to be in another Country and alone on my bday, and that was appeased by F-booking and texting for 6.5 of the 7.5 hours. I had about 50 Happy Birthdays on Fbook and 100 on MySpace, with even 4 of 5 networked exes even giving me Kudos for making it another year.
I was all stoked, the birthday was going well... I had my "wish list" almost completely granted...I had found a friend to stay and party with on the end of the drive... and then... another surprise... I got to meet the Chief of the Williamsport, PA Police, BONUS!
49 in a 35...$135.00. Having the Chief of Police spray while he talks...priceless, and gross
I whipped across around a bend at the south end of town, and saw flashing lights all over the place... turns out it was a crackdown on speeding and they were using about 9 cruisers simultaneously.
I was doing 49 in a 35, and he didn't mark it down for me at all... happy bday to me! Though, he spent 5 minutes admiring my computer, and was all excited about it and sprayed while he talked... after the ticket was written... eeeee.
Back enroute, I pulled into Selinsgrove, PA at about 11pm, and we went out on the College town, closed the bar, partied to 4:30am.
Next day was rodeo day, but, a night perf, so I chilled all day, and ventured on my way to Dornsife. I got a lil' lost, but showed up 5 mins late (2 hours and 55 minutes before showtime.)
Clowning the big show was my long time clown buddy, Timmy Johnson, and as always, we tip toed up to "the line", and I picked it up and punted it a few times... I only let 3 "That's What She Said" 's fly, but the fourth one was the best; off mic, in the middle of the pen, in a clown act, as he says, "sounds pretty easy, doesn't it? Should I make it harder???". I almost fell over...
After tear down, my new room mate, Timmy, and a Bullfighter that I met at the IFR went back to the College Town to party. I may or may not have taken off my shirt, whipped it around in the air over my head, and ran around the pool table in celebration of a pool shot...
Sunday was fun as I woke up Hung over for the 3rd day in a row, went for Breakfast with Timmy, and then drove home through a monsoon for 7 hours.
Still jonesin' for a party, I craved "Paralyzers", and as the Liquor stores were closed in Canada when I crossed, I HAD to go to the Duty Free and bought kegs of Vodka and Kahlua... Sunday night was a short booze-up, and that's how I kicked off my "29 Year of Greatness Tour"!
